Does Creating Balance Work?

Before my son was born, I add plans for a career.  After he was born, my husband pressured me to return to work.  We needed the money and I wanted to be working, but how could I manage the time? 

The Problem with  Balance

One of the areas I have struggled most with is trying to balance being a career woman, wife and mother.  I  grew up having a preconceived idea that if I did not balance my time,  I was not doing my job as a parent. I had been led to believe that balance meant you had to compartmentalize your life and give equal time to each aspect.

 For example, after my son was born, I had to go back to work. Immediately, I began to feel guilty. At work, I thought about home, at home with my son, I thought about my time I should be spending with my husband and other responsibilities. Adding work created a ripple effect that made it impossible to balance my life or allocate my time equally to everything in my schedule. Trying to achieve perfect balance set me up for a cycle of repeated failure.

Why Balance is a Myth

When trying to balance my life equally, it became apparent that the first person who consistently felt most neglected was me.  Trying to achieve balance created a vicious cycle of trying to play super parent where I had to become everything to everybody.  I realized trying to achieve balance was a myth that left me psychologically drained and feeling I was never “good enough” at anything.

Try Harmony, Not Balance

Harmony is the ability to handle many different areas and make them work successfully for you.  The key is: what works for you. I began to look at my own well-being as the most valuable asset.  I realized that if I was a mess, everything else became a mess.  I started thinking about reinforcing harmony in my life, instead of creating balance that left my well-being consistently my last priority. Creating harmony not balance, helped me began to control what I valued most in life instead of allowing life to control me.

This week we introduced the concept of creating harmony not balance. Next week we will go deeper into practical  ways to create greater harmony in our schedules and lives.  Below share the problems you have had with “balancing” your time and how changing your mindset to creating greater harmony can help.